Tuesday, July 15, 2008

They Called

They finally called with the results today.

Not good. Not good at all.

I have stage 4 Melanoma Cancer. I was prepared for this. Or at least I thought I was. However, when the Dr says it out loud that is a totally different thing.

I lost it.
I bawled.
I was not at home.
I was at Ella's 6 month appt.
I am pretty sure the pedetrician thought I was going insane.
Then I told him the news.
Usually my mom or my husband would be the first person I talk to about something like that. Nope, today it was Ella's pedetrician. Well, at least I love him!

I have a long road ahead. I meet with a surgeon tomorrow to discuss the treatment options. I have an appt with an oncologist next week. This sucks. Totally blows.

I thought I would be able to handle this. I am tough, I am strong-well at least emotionally-physically, not so much. But I thought I would be able to handle the news. I am not doing so well. I am losing my patience with Kyler. I can't stop cuddling with Ella. And I am crying. A lot.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

39 comments:

The Mom said...

Oh Heather, I will pray for you. My heart just fell for you.

McMommy said...

Heather, my heart is breaking with this news. You have every right to feel the way you do. Sending you huge hugs and prayers.

bejewell said...

You know what? You'e going to kick that cancer's ass. You will. Because you're smart and strong and good and you CAN. I don't even know you and I know it. Seriously. A family friend had the same diagnosis four years ago and she fought it and won. It CAN be done and you WILL do it. You will have many more years of losing patience with your kids and smothering them with snuggles. No kidding.

Christy said...

I am so sorry Heather. You are in my prayers.

And I agree with bejewell.

Anonymous said...

Heather.....I can't believe the news I am hearing. My heart breaks for you and your family!! I have known you since 2nd grade and I know you are a fighter and a very strong person....you can do this!! You have to get your mind in the right place and just know you will beat this. YOu have alot of wonderful family and friends and we will all do anything you need us to do to help out. Don't get down on yourself for having little patience with the kiddos...it happens and you have alot on your plate. Keep your head up and I am always thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Friends forever Tatum "Douglass" Eck

Mamasphere said...

Oh man. That SUCKS. I'm so sorry the news was what it was. I was praying so hard that it would be different.

But know this- You WILL get through this. You WILL be fine. You have two gorgeous children that need you, and you WILL be there for them.

I won't stop praying for complete healing, and for strength for what lies ahead. And you WILL come out on top.

Mark Salinas said...

"Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment. "

Jenn said...

I'm so sorry, you are in my thoughts and have been daily since you told us all. I sent you some love this morning over at my blog and just had time now to come check on you. Sending you lots of hugs!

Anonymous said...

Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. You know that imaginary phone conversation where you asked me if I wanted to watch Kyer? I would be more than happy to do that or anything else that would lend my support. My heart goes out to you.
Love and Prayers,
Laura

Shana from EVERYTHING EADS said...

Giant Giant hugs and prayers are being sent your way! Hang in there!

Mrs. Staff Sergeant said...

Hi Heather. I found you through McMommy and, even though I'm a complete stranger, I just wanted you to know that our family is praying for you!

I've never been in your situation and I can't imagine how you're feeling right now- but my oldest son was diagnosed with caner when he was 2 years old (anaplasitc Wilms tumor) so I know a bit about the whirlwind of emotions and uncertainty that follow diagnosis.

You can overcome this...and you will! Don't even bother looking at statistics- in the end it all comes down to 100% or 0% and you WILL get through this 100%! We'll be storming the heavens on your behalf until you do!

~Keri

thepreppyprincess said...

Please know that you and your family will be lifted up in our prayers every single day. Fight harder than you've ever fought for anything in your life. You will beat this!

amanda said...

i know you can do this.

i have 100% faith in you.

we are all right here. whatever you need. cheering you on.

hugs friend

Shannon said...

I'm so, so sorry Heather. I am just so sad to hear this, but I agree with the others, you will totally defeat this and I know you can do it. You ARE strong enough and you WILL do it. Lots of prayers for you and your whole family. Be sure to get lots of support and love from your family and friends . . . I'm sure people will do whatever they can.

Chelle said...

I am sending prayers your way. I agree 100% with Bejewell. We are here to listen and give you support whenever you need it.

Sending (((hugs)))

MyUtopia said...

I am very sorry to read that you have been diagnosed with Cancer. I pray that you and your family will have the strength to make it through this difficult time.

Heather said...

Heather,
I came here via McMommy and I've already prayed for you and will continue to do so.

Becks said...

My heart just aches for you. I can not even imagine hearing that news. You are a strong lady and can get through this!!! It's going to suck but YOU will get through and be an even stronger person!! My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you daily that you will have strength and peace! I am here for you!!!!!

ilinap said...

Prayers coming your way. I have a friend going through this too. And guess what? She's doing great, and you will too.

Lewis Family said...

Heather, this news is heart breaking. I dont know what to say. I will keep you in constant prayer.

I was wondering how you felt about setting up a donation system for you and your family, where people can send groceries, diapers, whatever you need (and not just for your blogger friends, but for your real life friends too.)

Just an idea, no pressure.

Kerry said...

Heather,

I too am here for you if you ever need anything. I am so sorry to hear the news. You have all of us to help you in this fight.

Kerry

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I just found your blog.
I'm so sorry for the crappy news--I am praying for you. You WILL beat this!

Clare said...

Heather, I know that you will beat this cancer. You are young, healthy, and a great mommy. You have strength and we are all supporting and praying for you and your family. My heart aches for you and everything you went through today.

Sending you love and hugs!!!! Clare

Michael Pierce, Realtor - Prudential Kansas City Realty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael Pierce, Realtor - Prudential Kansas City Realty said...

I'm very sorry to hear that Heather. Andi and I will be thinking about you and even though we are far away...if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

Diane said...

I found your site through the mcmommy chronicles. I am so sorry to hear such tragic news. It's OK to cry. Be strong and be with your family. They will give you the strength you need.

My family will pray for you.

Amanda said...

I found your blog through Olivia Glunts blog a couple weeks ago when she asked prayer for you. So my husband and I have been praying for you and your awaiting the news. I am so sorry. My heart sunk, and I dont even know you- I will sooo continue to pray for you and your precious children- I cant imagine how scared you are- I will out you on our church prayer chain- amanda, OH

Formercitygirl said...

Heather, I am so sorry. But, remember, God is merciful. He knows that you have two precious little children that need you and He wont forsake you. Sending you hugs, and good thoughts.

Kristen said...

Oh Heather,

You were the first blog I checked today.

My heart is breaking. But God is in control. He will bring you through this.

I am praying for strength, peace, and a calm to come over you. Hang on to those babies, and know that it is ok to cry.

We are all here praying for you too. Hang in there, and if there is ANYTHING you need, ask!

We all are pulling for you!

Brian, Cheralyn & the Girls said...

Thoughts and prayers to you, Cody, and the kids. Fight hard.

Jen said...

I say cry as much as you want. I just can't even imagine what you must be going through and I'm sure that if I were your position I would be a wreck too. It must be very scary but please, please, please try to not think of the worst. Think of good thoughts and how you are going to feel when you beat this. Because you will beat this--I know it!! {{{{Hugs}}} and prayers and all kinds of positive thoughts are coming your way!!

Anonymous said...

I have read your news through Olivia's blog. I am so sorry to hear. My prayers are with you and your family...Let your children's smiles be your strength to help see you through...

Erin Etling Jones

The Roaming Southerner said...

Heather, you are defin. in my prayers. And bejewell totally said it best:

I don't know you but I know you can kick this stupid cancer on its ass!

And while, I know I am only "seeing" your reaction on a post, you do seem really strong and brave. You can do it!
Whew, got a little Nike commercial in here!?!

Wendi said...

I read your post from the other day.
I didn't comment.
I thought it might be a little personal.
And I am a new reader.
This. is. personal.
I am commenting to say that my heart breaks for you.
And your cute family.
I barely know you, but I am sending prayers up for you.
You have much to fight for.
You can win this battle.
I am rooting for you!
~Wendi

Jodi said...

I thought about you all night and all morning. My prayers are with you. Please know that Ryan and I will do anything that we can for you. You have a lot of people that care about you!!

Susie said...

Heather, I just found your blog through Erika's website. My best friend dealt with Stage 4 Melanoma two years ago - sought out experimental treatment at NIH in Baltimore. She is happily cured. The road won't be easy - but sounds like you already have a great start. Best wishes to you!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Oh Heather, my heart and stomach just dropped for you. I was really truly hanging on to the no news is good news idea. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. You are strong, you have a wonderful husband and children, and it's ok to let your emotions take over when they need to. And it's okay to cry - trust me, I know. My offer still stands, any time. xoxo, Rach

Sally said...

Hi Heather! I found your blog though Lewis Family. She sent us over to offer up prayers for you and your family. I browsed through some of your past posts, and it's obvious that you love your famiy very much and that you are loved by them.

Hang in there! I'll be back to keep praying for you as you start on this new journey.

OHmommy said...

Sending you many hugs. Wendi sent me over. ;)

 
Blog Makeovers by Tara