Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Here I Sit...

....with a needle in my arm.

Wondering why in the world I have to go through all of this. Amanda mentioned that she would have just skipped it. Don't think that thought didn't cross my mind. It did. It crossed my mind, oh, maybe a BILLION times.

Screw the treatment. I'll just skip it. Hide out at home. Nobody will be any the wiser right? Wrong! I have to be here so that I can be here. Does that make any sense?

I have to be here, because I want to be around for many, many years.

I have to here so that I can chase off the girls that want to date my baby boy.

I have to here so that I can show my boy how to treat a lady.

I have to here so that I can show my boy that girls really do know how to throw a football.

I have to here so that I can show my baby girl how to put on her makeup.

And do her hair.

And discuss boys.

And show her how to shave her legs.

And show her how to throw a softball like a real woman does.

I have to be here because my husband needs me. (He has no idea how to balance the checkbook, pay the bills, or where the cleaning supplies are!)

I have to be here because my husband is my rock.

I have to be here so that I can be here for many more years to come.
Hopefully, I will get over this anger soon. Just writing this post has helped me. It has shown me a lot of good reasons to be here.

Yes it sucks.

Yes it ticks me off.

But, I just have to be here.

30 comments:

throwslikeagirl74 said...

*hugs* Been there.

The Roaming Southerner said...

Cheering for you, Heather!
--and praying--
---and being proud---

Beth said...

I am cheering for you as well!! This does suck. Cancer sucks. You are doing an amazing job holding it together!! For the very reasons your email states you have to do this! I am praying for you like so many others!!

Simply Shannon said...

You're doing a great job keeping in the right frame of mind. Keep it up and it will all be history soon and you'll be right back to doing all of the fun and amazing things (and the sucky ones) that you love to do with your family.

Chelle said...

I'm here, hon, by your side.
Maybe not your physical side, but your bloggy friend side. Always.
We're here to listen, to let you cry, to let you be angry, to let you be happy.
I can't wait to read about when you do all of those things for your children, sweetie.
(((hugs))) always

Carly said...

I am cheering you on and praying that God will heal your body! My husband was just diagnosed with stage 1B melanoma. It was very much a wake up call for us. Be strong and keep believing...you CAN do this! You CAN beat cancer!

Susan said...

You are right-- you just HAVE to do this. It's a bump in the road, forcing you to slow down a bit and take care of yourself. You will get thru this!

Formercitygirl said...

I'm part of your cheerleading squad. Be strong. You're making all of us mommies proud.

Clare said...

Heather!!! You are amazing! I wish I could be there with you to keep you company! stay strong, there are so many things that you WILL be there for! Love, Clare

Christy said...

You are doing an amazing job Heather! You have such great perspective.

Beav's Wife said...

You're amazing. You ARE getting through this and because you're willing to let us all in, there are so many of us praying and hoping for a speedy recovery. You have too much going on for this mess to get in the way! HUGS!!!

The Mrs. said...

Those are excellent reasons.

Hang in there your in the thoughts and prayers of MANY!

Wendi said...

Those are all great reasons to sit and do what you are doing.
You. are. amazing.
Remember that.
You. can. do. this.
We are on your team...cheering you all the way!!!
((hugs))

Lisa said...

Take a deep breath & know we're praying for you!

chris said...

We're cheering you on.

amanda said...

u really are a super mama you know it?

kyler and ella are two very, very lucky little darlings :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, you have to be there!

Remember, you also must take care of me when I'm old and gray! (Ha,Ha)

Yes, you have to be there!

You have a loving husband, beautiful kids, a supporting family and a fan club than are praying and cheering you on and you are not going to let us down!

Your favorite mother-in-law

McMommy said...

I love your reasons. You are so right...you need to be there so you can be there.

xoxo

beth said...

I understand how you feel.

Having children really does change everything doesn't it?

Jen said...

I'm not sick or going through chemo but I am inspired by the words in this post. I'm also inspired by you and your positive attitude. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Formercitygirl said...

P.S. If you are up to it, I tagged you for a seven fact meme. No pressure.

Kelli said...

I can't even imagine...I'm sure it does suck.

But you are strong.

You'll get through all of this!

And you'll be there...

Katy McCay said...

I love your post. It is perfect. Here's raising a glass of Diet Pepsi to enjoying all those things with your family and your friends.

Sarah said...

I am crying right now. I am so sorry you have to go through all this.

Anonymous said...

Heather, you are amazing!! I am praying for you and that beautiful family of yours. And cheering for you. And sending you hugs!

Your Mom-In-Law's Best Friend

amanda said...

How are you feeling? I was talking to my dad the other day about you and he said, "she'll survive, she caught it early enough that she'll be a survivor". I'm sure the doctors have already assured you of this but I thought I'd tell you as well. You get to be a survivor. Your life will forever be changed but you will be an inspiration to many.
Hang in there through the tough times. Lean on your family and friends. They'll pull you through.

Shannon said...

I'm glad to hear things are going "ok", Heather. I thought about you a lot while I was away, and I'm glad things have started and are progressing on the treatment front. Praying and thinking of you always . . . hang in there.

Mamasphere said...

You already beat one hurdle- you are now cancer free. You can totally get over this next one- to KEEP yourself cancer free. It's going to be MORE than worth it!

Shana said...

Just wanted to send some well wishes your way! Looks like you could have used a few days in Vegas?! Maybe when all this is over, you can take a getaway trip! Hang in there :)

Anonymous said...

You are awesome, Heather! You stay focused on beating this cancer and continuing to be the wonderful mother and wife that you are - and we will all be celebrating your last treatments before you know it!! Hang in there! Love, Bruce and Debbie

 
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