Thursday, January 22, 2009

Poor Parenting

Do you ever feel like you are the worst mommy in the world?

Like you have no idea what you are doing?

Like maybe, just maybe, you are hurting these kids more then helping them?

Please tell me that some of you feel this way.

Lately I have been really stressed. Potty training sucks. I am more stressed out than Kyler is and it shows.

I have been losing my patience with him and that's not fair. He has done a fabulous job on potty training. Really, I shouldn't even complain. But when he has an accident I just get so mad. I try to hide it, but I am not very good at hiding my feelings. Plus, that little boy knows me quite well.

I feel awful that I have been so short with him. He knows when I am upset and that affects him also. I need to just relax and trust him. He knows when he has to potty. I can't force him to pee. It's that whole control thing. I MUST be in control at all times. I need to chill.

I just love that little man so much and I want him to be successful. I realize that there will be times when he will fail, but if I can stop him from failing then I feel like I must.

Yes, I know, his teachers are going to hate me. But, oh well. I'll worry about that later.

Please tell me that I am not the only mommy who gets stressed every now and then!

I can do this. I can relax. I can give up the control.

Wish me luck!

21 comments:

Tara said...

Trust me, you are NOT the only one who has had those feelings and thoughts. Lately, with the terrible 2's taking over my sweetness its becoming more frequent. Hang in there, things will get better.

Jodi said...

Don't worry. . I think we all feel like that sometimes. I don't understand why Olivia won't drink out of a sippy cup or straw. Every time I put it up to her mouth, she screams or pushes it away. I don't get it, but I just want her to be successful. Sorry you are feeling this way and know that you aren't alone. With Olivia's stubborness, I can only imagine how fun potty training will be. Unless it's something that she wants to do. . .then it will be a piece of cake. With her interest in toilets. . .maybe I'll get lucky.

The Hooper Family said...

Yep. I have those moments/days/weeks, etc. where I feel like a horrible mom. What I do is take some time to myself...go get a manicure or pedicure, or take a walk without a stroller. I feel guilty taking time to myself while I'm doing it, but when I come home it is so refreshing.

You are a FABULOUS MOM!

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Believe me you are not the only mommy that feels like that! I have a struggle on loosing my need to be in control at all times. The little things totally drive me crazy and I need to get over that because what does it matter if Carter's shoes don't match his outfit?

Potty Training is so hard, especially when they are doing so well and then you think you are done and then there is an accident. It is hard to hide that disappointment, but they are just little boys and these things will happen.

I feel like such a mean and horrible person sometimes but then there are other times when Carter makes me feel like I am the best mommy in the world...just remember those good times and do your best on the others...I am sure as mothers we read into our "bad" behavior more than remembering the good.

Abby said...

I second guess myself all the time. I have days where I am convinced that I am doing it all wrong. Don't worry. We all feel that way. You are doing a great job. It will get better!

Sarah said...

Hang in there. With kids all of our patience is pushed to the limit. You are a great mommy

Just The Girl said...

Hang in there we all get stressed out sometimes.

DramaCity said...

OMG...It must be a rough mommy week or something!! Yes-I have felt horrible more times than I can count on my hands (or feet for that matter)! We all have our days-trust me-it WILL get better!
Potty training took forever for us too!! Don't worry...this too shall pass!
P.s....your a great Mom!!!

Jen :) said...

Don't worry about it! I am the same way! Hunter spilled his apple juice last night and I got SO mad...and it was stupid! I'm just stressed with everything that is going on and I try not to get upset with him and Kira, but it happens sometimes. You have so much going on that it is okay to get frustrated and want to protect your little guy! Potty training is very stressful and frustrating! We're trying to do that too and it's just not working very well! I want it to happen so bad...and Hunter doesn't seem like he's in any hurry! So, don't worry about it! Try to relax and just take a deep breathe when you are frustrated. He'll get it soon! :D Hang in there!

Crawford Crew said...

I would be surprised if there is a mommy out there that DOESN'T feel completely inadequate for the job. I used to be a parent educator, but honestly, I am just winging it with my boys! I think we are way harder on ourselves than we need to be. :)

Crawford Crew said...

Also, try to remember that whether or not your child potty trains "early" doesn't have any real lasting affect on his success. (neither is how soon they walk, wether or not they like the sippy cup... etc.) It's not a sign of whether or not he'll be a doctor or a garbage man when he grows up. It's just going potty, and eventually we all figure it out :)
Plus, every kid potty trains on their own time. Experts may tell you it's completely normal for a boy to be "late" because they just are not ready before 2. Bodies have to reach a certain point of development before they have ANY control over what thier bums are doing! :) It's totally NOT you. Best of luck.

Lindsay said...

OOO you are so not alone! You know what you have to do.. but it doesnt make it any easier!

Clare said...

i haven't done the whole potty training thing, but we are so alike. I have a feeling that this 'a type' mommy isn't going to do very well with it. just take a deep breath, and know that you are doing the best you can! i know you are doing a great job! love, c

MOMMY-MOMO said...

oh mommy! we all have those days... and if not they're lying :) keep your head up. but know its totally normal!

Kristen said...

Oh hang in there friend! Some days it is hard. Like hard hard hard!!

You are not a bad mama!!

hugs to you!

thetoepfertimes said...

I agree that everyone has those feelings. It was so hard for us when Jet started having accidents after the girls were born. But I let it go and it only took a couple of weeks and we were back on track. I'm sure Kyler will be there very soon! And I've learned (possible the hard way) that I have to let then fail and teach them how to do it graciously and they need to learn from it and try again. Not easy for me since I want to see them get it right the first time all the time. But it has helped him in his social skills already, so it's okay! This to will pass. And until then I like to have a secret stash of hidden chocolate for when I need a moment to myself.

chris said...

You are not alone!!! That is one of the hardest things to do - let a kid fail. It's hard as a teacher and I know it'll continue to be even harder as a parent.

Jen said...

I do feel this way sometimes and I remember feeling that way a LOT when I was potty training. I'm terrible with hiding my feelings too. I wish I could be a better actress.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing a great job!

Suzanne said...

All the women who say their kids are wonderful and they seem so calm are hiding something. It is so completely normal to get mad and stressed out over kids. I do it all the time! I don't believe a parent has to be fully in control and positive ALL the time. Children have to be aware of the feelings of others, otherwise they never learn compassion! How can you be a proper parent if you bottle up all of your feelings and emotions?

Suzanne said...

oh and yes - remember, just when you think you have the toilet training thing sorted - there will be a month of regular accidents! Is he trained at night or just during the day? 'Coz nighttime training is even worse!

Dana said...

I hear you on getting frustrated. Rylie was doing so well, and still is, if you consider how young she is. I think she's been having some tummy trouble. I still get really frustrated. It's hard sometimes to remember that it's a lot for them to handle. Rylie acts so grown up most times that some of us forget that she has limits to what she's really capable of.

Hang in there, it took Hunter almost a year before he completely stopped having accidents. And even in recent months he's we've caught him peeing in places on purpose (I think we've finally gotten over that hurdle).

 
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