Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Results

The Dermatologist just called with the results and they are not good.

All three spots that he removed came back as Melanoma cancer. It's what he figured so I was sort of expecting it, but it was still a hard thing to hear.

I have an appt with my oncologist set for Thursday to see what path we take now. I also have an evaluation set up for next week at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America. I also have a call in to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas for an evaluation. As you can see, lots of different Dr appts, but lots of expertise. Hopefully someone will be able to tell us where to go from here.

Needless to say, I am pretty pissed. I'm pissed that I have gone through the last 8 months for nothing. I am pissed that it came back while I am in treatment. I am pissed that I won't actually be done in August. I am pissed that most people have success while on Interferon. And, well, I'm just pissed.

As for what to pray for now, pray that we caught it before it spread to any organs. I'll be honest, once Melanoma spreads to the organs I'm screwed. I'm pretty aware of my body on the outside, however, what goes on on the inside is any one's guess.

I think right now I am in a bit of denial. I am going through a lot of different emotions right now. I expected this. I knew last week that it was going to come back as cancer. My dermatologist is one of the best. This result was expected. It's still a hard thing to grasp though. I don't want cancer to win this fight. I have two beautiful babies that still need me. Kyler is the biggest mama's boy there is. What would he do if he didn't have me? The thought hurts to much to even think about.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

so sorry Heather. NOT the news any of us wanted to hear. Praying and Praying and Praying harder.

Marci Bell

Jodi said...

I wish there was something that I could say or something that I could do. Please know that I'm thinking and praying for you every day.

Lillie's Playground said...

Heather, I am so very sorry. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through.

On an better note, I have heard wonderful things about the Doctors at MD Anderson in Houston. Being from Louisiana, I know several people who have gone for treatment there with very good results. They seem be very accurate when it comes to developing appropriate treatment plans that WORK! I will continue to pray for both you and your family. Sending much love your way!

Shawn

Chelle said...

I am so sorry, Heather, so so sorry. My prayers to you and your family are coming stronger.

Know that you are always in my prayers. (((hugs)))

Chandra said...

OMG, I am so sorry. I'm going to admit that I had to stop reading your blog for a while because it saddened me so; but I'm glad I am catching up now because thoughts and prayers and posative thinking are what you need and I hope my prayers as well as everyone who has been following you give you a little bit of hope.
Stay strong and fight the good fight...
Peace and Love

amanda said...

My only advice is stay on top of things and be very proactive in fighting. It seems like you already are which is good. Don't let bad news bring you down (how can you not huh??) But use it as fuel to fight this awful disease. My mom gave up too soon because she was sick of all the bad news and she was scared to fight. Make sure the doctors give you the time you deserve and demand answers. You can win this fight.

I will pray for you.

Jacquie said...

Oh Heather, What can I say? As a fellow melanoma patient, this really hits home with me. I have not had to go through therapy like you have but it sure makes me think. I think your plans sound perfect!! Get you a notebook to start taking with you to every appointment (if you haven't already) to make notes, write down numbers, jot down questions.

On a positive note, I have to think this is a way for you to spread the word about how important getting a derm check is. None of us know what some stupid little spot may actually be.

I will pray for you daily. Please let me know if I can do anything to help.

Spend time with your beautiful kids and husband. And don't think you don't have a right to be pissed because you do.

Jacquie Disque

amanda said...

so very sorry heather. sending prayers for good news later in the coming weeks with all your new apts.

extra hugs to you and the kids and your hubby...

Wendy said...

I just want to sit here and cry! I am so very very sorry. I was just praying for you this morning. I will continue to do so. You are not alone. Team Heather is still very much alive!!!

Melissa said...

Heather. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

My heart is heavy for you.

Please know that you're in my prayers and thoughts.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I am typing this with tears in my eyes and I am so pissed off for you to.

OMG I am just so emotional and upset for you.

I think this strikes a chord with me because of my 2 close calls with this. I am just really upset for you right now.

I will continue to pray for you and hope these Dr's can find something that works and works fast.

Hang in there Heather, You are a fighter and will defeat this beast!

MamaJoss said...

Just wandered in on your blog today...so sorry to hear what you are going through. While my treatment for Basal Cell Carcinoma is nothing compared to this...you are not alone with your fears and pissiness. Stay strong Mommy. Glad to have found your adorable blog...your children are adorable!

Lindsay said...

oo Heather.. I know this is not the news you wanted.. or anyone for that matter. I will be praying for you and all of your doctor visits. Someone will know the next step and you are going to kick cancer's butt!!

Sarah said...

I am in tears reading your post.. I know that is nothing compared to what you are going through..

My Dear You WILL WIN THIS FIGHT! I promise.

I am praying and thinking of you and your family.

Hope said...

Heather, I wish I could offer more than comforting words. I'm pissed for you! It sounds like you're doing the right thing by getting more opinions.

Cancer with mets to organs can be beat, but I hope and pray you don't have to face that.

Hugs to you, hun
Hope

Shana said...

Heather,
My heart is breaking for you right now. I wish I had the perfect words to say to make this all go away. But what I do have to offer is a place to stay if you decide to come to MD Anderson. SERIOUSLY!!! I am about 30 minutes from there and they are AWESOME! World reknowned docs there. Don't know if I ever told you, but I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 13 and her 2 sisters also had it. All of this hits very close to home with me. Anyways, if you do decide to come here, please please know that you have a FREE place to stay. And if you wanna/need to bring the kiddos, they can play with Jacob and Olivia!!! I am serious! Love ya!

Valerie Williams said...

Heather,
I'm SO sorry to hear this!!!! :( I keep you in my prayers daily & will continue to do so. I hope that all of those consults will have some GREAT results & that this cancer thing will soon just be a thing of the past!!! (((Heather)))

-Valerie

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris said...

Sorry about the deleted comment...

I'm so sorry to hear your news. Stay strong for your babes and fight! I can tell you are a fighter. I will be praying for you!!

Patrice said...

I'm so sorry. That's not at all the news that any of us wanted to hear! I will continue praying for you & your family. 1 of these Dr.'s will help you, I know it! The fight is far from over, it's just a bump in the road... a road that ends in you kicking cancer's butt!

Andrea said...

heather,
i am so sorry to hear your news. i would be mad too. actually, i am mad for you!!!
praying super hard for you. kick this cancers ass!!!

Jen said...

I'm sitting here trying to find the right words to write. Everything I want to say comes out sounding preachy. I have no experience with cancer. I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes. Every feeling you are having right now is how you should be feeling because you are in a fight for your life. If being pissed gives you more ammunition, then I say go with it!! You can beat this, Heather!!

Kimmber said...

Prayers for you.

Rebecca Louise. said...

Dpn't think about it because your have a fighting streak in you. You will beat this :) xxx.

thetoepfertimes said...

Oh Heather! I wish there was more I could say than I'm so sorry. I honestly can't believe it. We're thinking and praying for you guys everyday

Julia said...

Heather, I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling - emotionaly, physically, spiritually. There is nothing I can add to the prayers and well wishes already written but I wanted you to know I am praying for you and think often of your family.
Laura

Kristi said...

Heather -
I am Chelle's sister and I have been following your blog for about a year now. I cannot even imagine how tough this is for you. Me and all the girls at my office are praying for you and your family every day. As a fellow Texan and I am in healthcare I can attest to how amazing the Physicians at MD Anderson really are - miracles happen EVERY DAY there. They will take very good care of you!

-Kristi

Christy said...

FUCK! This isn't fair. I hate that you have to go through this. So so so so sorry friend. I am thinking of you.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I am so sorry!

It's ok to be pissed...be so pissed that you kick this cancers A$$.

laura said...

Hello! I found your blog a few months ago through Clare and Lindsay (old friends from high school). I am so sorry to hear about the latest sucky cancer news. Your strength through all this is inspiring. Because of you, I actually have my 1st cancer-prevention appt. at a dermatologist next week. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thinking happy thoughts for you and your family.

- Laura

Bee-Vine Creations said...

Heather,
Followed your blog from my friend Shawn's. I'm so sorry about what you're going through. Will be praying daily.

McKt said...

Heather, I'm so sorry for this new battle you have been charged with! This is not the news any of us wanted read. My heart breaks for you, your children and your husband. You and your family are in my prayers. I know you will keep us updated on how to pray specifically, thank you for that.

amanda said...

me again...just wanted you to know that i am thinking of you today.

23 Weekers said...

Heather,

My prayers are with you and your family. It just doesn't seem fair. Keep fighting. Don't give up. With prayer and a positive attitude you will get through this.

Hugs,
Shanon

Alicia said...

So sorry to hear this, you will be in my prayers.

Amos & Jamie Bazil said...

Praying for you!!! I'm so sorry Heather, it's ok to be mad!!! I'd be mad too!! Stay strong and don't give up!

Jen :) said...

Sorry to hear this news. We are thinking of you and praying for you every day! Hope some good news comes your way in the up coming weeks from the specialists. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you out with anything! I can come up and watch the kids or anything. Just ask! We're thinking about you today! Praying for some better news!

The Blissfully Happy Housewife said...

praying...praying...praying.

J

A Crafty Mom said...

Oh Heather, I am so, so, so sorry. What a horrible nightmare. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as always. Stay strong sweetie - I KNOW you can do this.

Noob Mommy said...

You are in my thoughts, as well as your beautiful family :) Hoping you'll find the inner strength to stay strong during this difficult time.

Christian Kay said...

I am really sorry to read about what you are going through. You have every right to be pissed and to question why this is happening to you. You seem to be very strong...that will get you far. My aunt was diagnosed with multiple myeloma on good Friday of 2008. They said it was terminal. She is still on chemo once a week and is at 90% remission. And it has spread to her organs...We were told to say our goodbyes and yet she is thriving. It does happen. Doctors can't ever tell you exactly what is going to happen. Keep your head up and continue to find solace in your children and husband. And don't forget to get some love from the dog...animals really help in times like these.

Christian Kay said...

Oh and I forgot to mention that I am in Olathe, KS and have been suffering from headaches the past few days too. Hopefully it all has to do with this CRAZY weather we've had. Snow and ice one day and 70 degrees the next!

 
Blog Makeovers by Tara