Wednesday, July 8, 2009

18 months and 1 year

Today marks two important milestones in my life. My baby girl turns 18 months. 18 months, I can't believe it. Where oh where has time gone? It also marks the day that I was diagnosed with cancer. So, yes, the day that my baby girl turned 6 months was the day that the Dr broke the wonderful news to me that he was 99% sure that it was Melanoma and that it didn't look good.

I remember everything about that day. I remember getting ready for the Dr appt and thinking it would be no big deal. Not one time did I ever think that the spot on my calf was cancer. Never. Now I think every little thing on my body is cancer.

I remember sitting in the waiting room.

I remember showing the nurse the spot on my calf.

I remember her silence as she looked at it and looked at me.

I remember the Dr looking at the spot and asking me why I wasn't in there sooner.

I remember him telling me it was cancer.

I remember him feeling the lymph nodes in my groin and asking me how long those had been enlarged.

I remember the Dr removing the spot on my calf and lecturing me about the sun.

I remember calling my mom and telling her to have the phone close because I needed her.

I remember calling my mom back and her not answering.

I remember calling my husband and him saying "Ok" and me wanting to beat him for his response.

I hated that day. And I hate that I hate it. It was the day my little Princess turned 6 months, I shouldn't hate that day. But I do.

10 comments:

Lindsay said...

awww Heather.. I am sorry this day sucks so bad! I am sorry you have to go through this! Yay for 18 months for Ella! Praying for you!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I truly hope you kick cancer's ass so that someday, July 8 will have nothing but good meaning related to your daughter.

My husband has had skin cancer twice and we are waiting to hear about round 3. It's never easy.

Hallie

Christy said...

Did you ever take a picture of the spot on your leg? I would love to see what a worrisome lump might look like. Your story makes me hyper aware of every little imperfection on my skin.

Heather said...

Sometimes it's the days you hate that make you fight even harder!!

Laura said...

I can certainly understand why this day holds so many bad memories (and good ones) I'm praising Jesus today that you have been winning this battle for a year!!!!!

Melissa said...

Heather, I know I've said this a million times, but I'm so sorry that you have to go through this! I hate that this is happening to you!

Just know that you're always in my prayers! I just know that you are going to kick cancer's butt!!!!

{{{HUGS}}} and happy 18 months to Ella-bug!

amanda said...

thinking of you today and always.

Chris said...

I echo Hallie's comment. Someday that will be just your daughter's 6 month birthday and you will have celebrated so many more!

Jen :) said...

Just think, when Ella is older and thinking of her 1/2 birthday every year, she'll always think of what a strong mommy she has! She will know that you will do anything it takes to be with her! It's a sad day now, but one day, it will be a day that you will reflect on and see how much stronger you are as a person! Take care of yourself and that beautiful baby girl and Kyler of course!!!

Anonymous said...

OKAY SO NOW THAT I'M IN TEARS........THIS POST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I WAS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. YOU ARE SUCH A STRONG PERSON AND I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SUCH A FIGHTER!!!

TATUM ECK

 
Blog Makeovers by Tara