Friday, November 13, 2009

An Update

Well, the news isn't the best. The spot that showed up on the PET scan, but was inactive, last month has grown from 4 mm to 6 mm. Not a lot to us, but enough in the cancer world.

While the Dr was trying to find that mass, he noticed another spot on the skin that he was very concerned about. That spot was removed in the office and has been sent off for a biopsy.

After that I was sent over to Ultrasound to see if they could find the tumor this time since it was bigger. The ultrasound tech found it immediately.

Apparently they had been in the back studying my PET scan. Obviously that was a plus. She had no problems what so ever in finding it.

Since I was there I also had them check the lymph nodes. The spot that they removed would have spread to the lymph nodes in my groin. If it has spread then it would show up on the Ultrasound. Nothing showed up, so I am fairly certain, that if it is melanoma, it has not spread.

However, on the positive side, when that spot was removed it was not black underneath. When Melanoma is removed it is black underneath. This was not. It was flesh colored underneath. I feel this is a good thing.

I am trying to stay positive about all of this. However, I am not sure how much more I can endure. I am just about "surguried" out. I am tired of being cut into to. I am tired of being poked. I am tired of being prodded. I am just so over this cancer shit. It's just stupid and it totally blows.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I'm not quitting. I will never quit. But, I do think I have the right to be pissed. I do think I have the right to be tired. And I do think I have the right to be bitchy. So, bear with me for a while. I will get through this. But, this won't be an easy ride. So, if you don't mind, bear with me, give me your love, and send me your prayers.

21 comments:

Brittany..Following my Bliss said...

You have my prayers and you're right.. you have every right in the world to be MAD! I'm mad for you!!

Clare said...

Yes, you have the right to be pissed, bitchy, and anything else you want to be!! You have been through so much and been so strong through all of it. I know it's easy for me to say, but keep your head up and think of the payoff when you are cancer free and able to completely enjoy your life again! Still thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers.

Christy said...

Just wanted to let you know I have been reading your blog for a little while & have all the respect in the world for your absolute honesty. I often wonder how I would react in the same situation & I think I too would be pissed! Never once have I thought of your story & "quitter" in the same thought. Quite the opposite! I think the bravery to share your story & your TRUE emotions are a huge sign of your fight!!! You & your family are in our thoughts & prayers! Keep up your fight!! ; )

fortyb4forty said...

I've been thinking of you and praying and will continue to pray. Cancer is hard and definitely something to be mad about.

Wendy said...

UGH! I am sooooo praying for you!

Jen said...

Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. I know you will beat this!!

Lindsay said...

been praying and will continue to do so! I guess they don't have a plan yet? You totally have the right to be over it and bitchy.. I know I would be!

Janell said...

Hi Heather,
Linda B. gave me your blog site and I've been following your journey. I just want to say that you have been an inspiration to me. Keep fighting. We'll ramp up the prayers!!
Janell Neer

Christy said...

Well, FUCK! So sorry friend. Feel free to be bitchy.

The Mom Jen said...

Hugs to you sweetheart, I will never stop praying for you. Sending you strength to continue to work through this! ♥

Tiffany said...

Praying for you... I have just come back to blogging but have continued to follow your and haven't stopped praying for you. You absolutely have the right to be angre, angry, angry.... Hang in there.

Chris said...

You have every right to be pissed. And use that anger to fight! Praying for you!

Chelle said...

Be pissed. Be mad. Be angry. Because I am, honey.

I just can't believe it.

But I do know that you will WIN this fight. Stupid cancer. Praying for you, sweetie.

And I just wrote a post about you...because there can never be too many prayers, you know?

Love ya girl. And praying for you hard. xo

blueviolet said...

You have every right to be mad. Yell, scream, rant, cry, pray. You're entitled to do it all and we'll be doing it with you. I just met you from Chelle but I'll be praying right alongside you!

Chance said...

You can be pissed, tired, bitchy, and every other raw emotion that surfaces. You have every right to. I admire your strength to be real. I am praying for you.

Laura said...

Always in my prayers. You have every right to be angry, tired and just plain "done" You are a fighter and you will be back on your positive horse in no time. Enjoy those kiddos...they are truly the best blessing ever.

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

I will definitely add you to the prayer list.

(Found your blog from Chelle *Wineymommy)

Jewls said...

Coming from Winey Mommy! We're all praying for you!

Me said...

Late at night when it is dark and I'm ready to sleep I talk to God and ask him to keep you safe.

Amanda said...

You most definitely have the right to be pissed! I am so happy that Chelle led me to you. I am praying for and am here to cheer you on through your journey and to celebrate with you when you kick cancer in the ass!

(((HUGS)))and Prayers

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

I am so sorry to hear all of this! You and your family have been in my prayers and will continue to be until you kick this cancer's arse!!

 
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