Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Death and Dying....

...are two things that I think about a lot. Unfortunately. I don't want to think about it. And honestly, the thought doesn't consume me during the day. But, at night, while I lay in bed, it's all I can think of. I think about our day. I think about any regrets I have and what I would have done differently. I think about the memorable moments and what my kids will remember about today.

Something I do with the kids everyday is ask them to tell me what their favorite thing was about the previous day. Sometimes it's something silly like, we had hot dogs for lunch. And sometimes it's something fun, like we went to the zoo. Either way, I love hearing it. I love that they remember something that we did together.

I am working so, so hard to build these wonderful memories, because, let's be honest, we don't know how much time I have. But, we don't know how much time anyone has. Anything could happen to any one of us at any given time. Scary, right?!

The other morning one of my good friends that I talked about in this post (PS the lump came back as a fatty tumor not cancerous btw!) was getting ready for a funeral at our church. When she told her 4 year old daughter that she had to go to a funeral, her 4 year old starting bawling. When her mommy asked her why, she told her she thought it was because I had died. When my friend explained it wasn't me, she calmed down, but the sad part is, is that she can't say that won't ever happen. Sucks, right?!

I don't know about you guys but I am so over this cancer thing. I am just sick of it. I am sick of researching. I am sick of telling my story. I am sick of thinking about cancer. I am sick of stressing out. I am just sick of it all. After fighting for almost 2 years I am getting a little irritated. Please pray that this trial at Vanderbilt will work out. I have many options, but this will probably be my best bet.  Keep those fingers and toes crossed.

The point of this post was to help some of you remember that life is truly to short. The next time your kid does something silly and you are at the end of your rope, remember me, remember my kids, but most importantly, remember your kids. Life is just to short.The naughty behavior will pass. I promise.

I would love to know what you do to make each day memorable for your kids.


Melissa said...

Thanks for the reminder Heather! Life really is too short, and like you said, none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But, today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

I'm praying for you every day. I'm so sorry that you have to keep fighting this battle. But God obviously knew you could handle it. He nevers gives us more than we can handle, so He must have a pretty high opinion of you!

Love and hugs,


Christy said...

I think about dying every time I go under general anesthesia. In all honesty, I was convinced that I was going to die last month when I had dental surgery.

It is a tough concept to wrap your head around, but you're right - any of us could die at any time. Even though I know that this is true, it is incredibly hard to live in the moment and just enjoy life (which you seem to be doing).

I am thinking of you, praying for you, and sending good vibes your way.

Anonymous said...

So true sweetie! I am sorry you have to think about this! It is so true that we all don't know what could happen. we all don't know how long we will be here. And does it really matter if little johnny wrote on the wall with crayon.. no what matters is that they know we love them. I am keeping everything crossed and I have my bible study girls praying for you every week. They ask how you are doing! (((HUGS)))

Evansmom said...

What a great reminder to cherish life.

What I do to try to make my son's childhood memorable is to be there when he needs me even though I work full time. I always was the room mom, team mom, scout volunteer, etc. I was there at 95% of all practices and all of his games.

He is 15 now and I get stopped on a regular basis and told that he is an awesome kid. It makes it all worthwhile.

Hugs and postive thoughts being sent to you.

Tricia Nugen said...

You remind me everyday. Every time Max or Madeline do something that makes me want to scream I think of something YOU once said in a post.... They are only little once. Someday they won't want us anymore.

I only hope that someday I can look in the mirror and say Wow I am just as strong as the one true super hero I know.... Heather. And, I remember when she kicks cancers ass! I remember when she taught us how to live life to the fullest!

hugs and kisses honey! xoxo

Shana said...

Thanks for the reminder! You are so right, life is too short! We have a tradition at dinner each night. We take turns praying for our food and then we all go around the table and say what our favorite part of the day was. Whoever prayed, gets to go first!

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