Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Good and The Bad

Met with the surgeon. He was an interesting guy. Very nice. But very fast. Anyway, he did an ultrasound on the spot and found it pretty quickly. Since he was able to locate the spot, he agreed to perform a biopsy. After waiting for what seemed like for.ev.er a biopsy was performed. The first chunk that he took out came out black. His words were, well we don't need a diagnosis now. In other words, it is melanoma.

I was expecting this. As Aunt A says, I am the reason Murphy's Law exists! If it can happen, it will happen. Always. So, I knew it would be cancer. But, it was nice to think otherwise for a little bit!

So, I am  left with two options. One, I could have surgery, remove the cancer in that location and essentially be cancer free. However, I know that there are other cancer cells floating around in my body. They just haven't landed quite yet. At this time I don't feel like that is the best option for me.

Option number 2 is to get on the trial. The reason we are here, in Nashville, is for this trial. Seems silly to come here and then not get on the trial. So, that is what I am doing. The trial closes Thursday. I have to be here, on Thursday, to sign the informed consent. Therefore, we are staying yet another day. This little one day trip is turning in to a week long trip! Good thing I bought a 3 pack of underwear!

I am guaranteed a spot on the trial. The Dr is rushing the biopsy results, because even though we know it is melanoma, we must have that confirmation. Once that confirmation comes back I will go in, sign the consent, have some blood work done and have a spot.

Here's the kicker. Even though I have signed the consent, if my bloodwork doesn't come back like it needs to, my spot is gone. They will test me to make sure I have a certain genome sequence and make sure I have the B-raf gene mutation. Hopefully, both of those will come back like we want them too.

The negative about the trial is that I have to be here for quite a while. But, whatever. I don't know what else to do. We have to do it. The good part (or the bad, depending on how you look at it) is that the trial won't start until April. So, I get a little more time with my kiddos, and Cody and I will still be able to go on our cruise. I will be honest though, if we could get out money back I would cancel the cruise. Simply for the fact that we have been away from the kids so much. I miss them. I love them. I need them. But, if we canceled at this point we would lose most of our money. So, the plan is to go, eat, drink, and be merry. And make lots of expensive phone calls back home:)

Here is, quite honestly, were God was watching over me, the trial closes on Thursday. I was secured a spot (if I wanted it) because I called them in the nick of time. One day later and we may not have had a spot. So, even though the news wasn't exactly what I wanted to here, God is still watching over me. He knows what he is doing.

9 comments:

The Kitchen said...

Well, Heather honey, bless your heart. Just another dang obstacle.

Stay strong and positive - which you have done so well!!!

Love to you and Cody!
t

Lindsay said...

I wish Nashville was closer I would drive down there and visit you!! Sucks that it was cancer :-( You are so right God is looking out for you!

Shana said...

So happy to hear you finding the bright side....which isn't always easy. Love to you, Cody and the kids! If there is anything at all I can do to help, please let me know! xoxoxoxoxo

SWOfem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...

SWOfen---In answer to your question, doing both is not an option. If I have it surgically removed I am not a canidate anymore for the trial because I do not have a "measureable" tumor. I would love to do both. But I can't. Thank you for reading and praying.

Christy said...

Fuck. I wish cancer would pack it's freaking bags and get the heck out of your body!

Chelle said...

I wish you were closer to me. I would be there in an instant doing whatever I could. I'm still praying like mad girl.

Is there anything you need? Want? Anything? If so let me know--and I will mail it {with damn insurance!!}. Seriously. Oreos? Trashy magazines? Mindless books? Name it.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Heather -
Go on that cruise and make memories with your husband. I know it has to be really hard to be away from the kids, but you need this relaxation. Like you said, eat, drink, and be merry.

God has a plan for you, and it may not be in your hands. It is easy said than done, but give Him all of your worries. He will take care of the rest.

I can't imagine the feelings and emotions that you are going through as you travel this road, and I am not even going to try. I don't have the words to make you feel better, but just know that I am praying for you.

Even though it has been a long time since I seen you last, your are still a dear friend. You were one of the first friends that I made at ESU. :)

Your kids know that you love them very much even if you are not there in person right now. You are a SUPER mom, and they are blessed to have you.

Now, go kick some cancer's butt!

Clare said...

Heather, glad that you have the ability to recognize Gods work during this time. I'm sure it's very hard to do.

Go cruise and enjoy, not sure if you have been on a cruise before but it's a blast! It will probably be great for you (and Cody) to relax!!

 
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