Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Long Time, No Hugs

Dear K-Dog and Ella Geeber Beebers,

I hope you both know how much I absolutely hate being away from you two. You both are my life. I love you with every ounce of my being. I always knew that I was going to be a mommy. I was born to be a mommy. In fact, in third grade we had to tell what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most of the boys wrote policeman or firefighter. Most of the girls wrote doctor or teacher. But, not your mom, nope, I wrote "house wife." See, I knew I was meant to be wife and a mom.

When I found out that I was pregnant with both of you I was beyond overjoyed. Absolutely and completely ecstatic. You both are true blessings. I did everything by the book when you were in my tummy. I did everything in my power to make sure you were perfect.

Oddly enough, that is out of my hands now. I feel like I am not able to do anything for you. I am never home to raise you. I am constantly traveling to see new and different doctors. And I hate it. I miss you both more than you can even imagine. I know that you don't understand what is going on and I am actually very grateful for that. However, fighting cancer is going to be a life long thing for me. It's certainly worth fighting for. I know that. Hopefully, as you get older you will understand that mommy does this so that I can be around to be with you. You both are reason enough to fight. To survive. To live.

I feel like so many parents take being a parent for granted. They take the fact that they will always be there, to be a parent, for granted. I am not one of those. Not anymore anyway. I am so grateful for this blog. One day you will be able to look back at your blog book and see all of the wonderful things that we have done as a family. I still have the dream of taking you to Disneyworld. It will happen. I promise. Just not yet.

I love you K and L, more than anything in the world. YOU are my inspiration. YOU are my world. I can't wait to see you. And hug you and kiss you. I may never stop.:)


Christy said...

Your babies love you and adore you, even if you have to travel for cancer treatment. Keep fighting momma!

Shana said...

So Sweet! Made me cry! They are both BEYOND BLESSED to have you as their momma!!!!!!

Jenny said...

They are so lucky to have a momma like you! You are super strong which will make them even stronger...many prayers sent your way...

Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Dear Heather,

We all had hoped for better news, but you know what---we've had this before. We just keep fighting and doing what we have to do. You have been strong and don't sit and complain, like most people would. I don't know whether it is the German or the Swede background (!!) but hang in there. It is so good that there are possibilities.

I'm sure Kyler and Ella miss you both, but you know they are in good care. You have spent more time with them than some mothers that work away from home every day--I alway knew you would make a good mother, and that is why you were a good teacher in your teaching job. I hope those families realized that.

Don't worry about the little ones---you and Cody have things to do! We are behind you all the way!

Love you both,

G'ma & G'pa

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