Friday, January 25, 2008

Allow me to vent...

Let me start with the positive. Ella had her two week well-child appt on Tuesday and she weighed 7 lbs 11.5 oz and was 20 inches long. Most breastfed babies tend to gain weight slower because breast milk is so easily digested. Apparently, Ella is a bit of a pig and has gained over a pound in a week and a half. At her fist Dr appt when she was 4 days old she weighed 6 lbs 9 oz so she has gotten to be such a big girl. When we went to the Dr I expressed my concern with her having a very stuffy nose and that the stuff coming out of her nose was green and yellow. He felt it was just a cold but told me if anything changed to come in immediately. Well, yesterday she started with the coughing and at times she will struggle to breath. Very nerve racking! So we went back to the Dr today and he did an RSV screening and guess what-it was positive. I was so upset I started crying. In fact, I am crying just writing about it. As most of you know, RSV is very scary in babies and can be fatal. Luckily, I am a very overly cautious mommy and tend to spend lots of time in the Dr's office so we caught it very early. Her oxygen level was 97 which is normal so she does not have to hospitalized-thank heavens-but we do have to do breathing treatments three times a day. Which unfortunately are fairly normal in our house. You see, Kyler was also lucky enough to get RSV when he was about 8 weeks old. However, when Kyler got it we were living in Emporia and our pediatrician did nothing. At least Ella's Dr put her on breathing treatments and with any luck we will be able to keep Ella from getting Asthma. It upsets me that she ended up getting it because I am so careful. We have hardly even left the house since she was born and visitors have been pretty limited. It just doesn't seem fair. Babies should not have to feel like this. You can just look at her and tell she doesn't feel well. The Dr said that she should be over this in about a week but the coughing could continue for months. Great! Why did this have to happen to my little baby? What are the chances of both of my babies catching this at such a young age? Has breast feeding really helped either of my children? I'm sorry, I know this posting has been a little bit of a downer I just needed to get this off my chest. I do feel a little better now. Please keep Ella in your thoughts and prayers.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Before I Was A Mom

My Aunt Jill sent me this poem in an email and I think it perfectly describes how I (and most moms) feel:

Before I was a Mom-

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom-

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom-

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Smith Family Christmas

Uncle Chris, Aunt Jacki and Kyler
Aunt Jacki and Ella

This weekend we finally celebrated Christmas with my family. We waited until now because of Miss Ella. All of my family is about 3 hours away so we were trying to combine Christmas and the getting to meet Ella all into one trip. Kyler received lots of fun new toys, however, I do believe his favorite was Aunt Jacki's cheese popcorn from Topsy's. Even when she tried to hide the bag Kyler found it. Kyler's never had cheese popcorn before so this was a special treat for him.

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