Friday, July 11, 2008

Flashback Friday

This week I haven't done a lot of posts about the kids.

Bad Mama!

So in order to catch everyone up on what my precious little ones have been doing I am going to do a "flashback" where I show what we have been up to this week.

My parents bought Kyler this "jumpy, jumpy" for Christmas. However, due to the rain and the heat he didn't know it even existed, until last weekend that is! Daddy finally got it out for him to play in and boy was it a great day!

My folks even came down to join in on the fun!

Kyler enjoyed a little boxing on the Wii. His new record-8! However, I'm pretty sure Daddy helped him out on that one!
We watched some Dora the Explorer! What would I do without my beloved Dora!
We attended Music and Movement class. Kyler enjoyed pretending to be different animals.
We took nice, long naps! Well, Belle did anyway!We picked a big ole' squash out of our "garden."
And then we fed it to the duck!

And best of all, my baby girl is starting to crawl-yikes!!

Thanks kids for such a fun and exciting week. You did an excellent job of keeping mommy's mind off of everything! I love you.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

U Guys R The Best

Update: I just talked to the nurse and the results are not in yet. She said I should hear something on Monday or Tuesday. Ugggg!

Thank you everyone for all of your love and support. It seriously means the world to me.

When I first started making bloggy friends, my husband thought I was insane. I would talk about you guys to him like you were my real life friends. I would say, guess what Beans did today, or guess what Sophia now has, or guess what Kristen asked on her Friday Forum, etc. After reading all the comments on my last post, my husband now realizes that you guys are real and you guys do care. I told him that I cried after reading all of the wonderful comments, he looks at me and said, yeah, I did too!

So again, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your love and support.

I am also very lucky to have such a wonderful family and real life friends. My parents, my in laws, and my best friends have all said that they will be there to help and do whatever we need. What would I do without such support?

We are still waiting to hear back from the Dr. The waiting and the uncertainty is killing me.

Something that is really bothering me about all of this, is the fact that if I have to go through Chemo I will have to quit breastfeeding. Isn't it silly that that is what is bothering me the most!

When Kyler was born I was determined to give breastfeeding a shot. I really didn't care if it worked out though. I breastfed him for 4 months, however I ALWAYS had to supplement and I really had to watch my diet. We found out that he was allergic to all milk products and he had to go on a special (and VERY expensive) formula. He was on it until he was 2!! Breastfeeding with him was very difficult for me. I was a vegetarian and ate a lot of dairy products (still do!). I had to cut out dairy for him, since I had already cut out meat, I was pretty much down to eating nothing that I enjoyed. That sucked!

At around 4 months Kyler decided that he was done breastfeeding and would only take a bottle. I cried, but was okay with it. I was back to teaching and didn't have the time to pump so formula would definitely be easier.

When I found out I was pregnant with Ella, I thought about formula feeding for, oh maybe a minute. Since Kyler's was so darn expensive I knew that with me staying home I really needed to give breastfeeding a shot.

I bought the fancy pump.

I attended breastfeeding class.

I asked lots of questions.

I researched and researched on the internet.

I was determined.

I was going to do this and I was going to like it, damn it!

When the nurse give me Ella to feed, she latched on right away. I knew she was born to do this. That night she nursed pretty much ALL NIGHT LONG! The nurse taught me how to do the laying down position and Ella was latched on that way pretty much all night.

Apparently, you're not supposed to do that!

Apparently, she was using mommy as a pacifier. Huh, who knew! I was just so excited that she was a natural I didn't care. Until the next morning that is! Damn, I hurt! And boy was I cursing this whole breastfeeding thing!

Every time she latched on I had tears in my eyes. It lasted for 2 weeks and 1 day. Every hour she would eat, and every hour I would cry. Until that magical day 2 weeks and 1 day later. She latched on and I didn't cry. Wow, it doesn't hurt anymore! Yay!! This is going to work.

It hasn't always been easy. At times I get dirty looks for nursing her in public. Don't worry, I just flip those people off.

At times it would be easier to just give her a bottle of formula. Especially during those sleepless nights.

At times I feel like a milk cow. But I'm ok with it. Because I know that I am doing what is right for my baby girl. I am in awe of what my body can do. I am in awe of how much milk it can produce.

My husband is sick of looking at the breast milk bags in the deep freeze. But I knew that I needed to pump, pump, pump and have lots of milk stored. I don't know why, but something was telling me that I needed to have plenty stored up.

Now I know why. If I have to go through Chemo this breastfeeding thing will be no more. I know it's silly, but in my warped little mind I want to put off the Chemo so I can keep breastfeeding. Isn't that silly. My husband says I am going crazy in my old age!

I think I just always thought that I would breastfeed until Ella decided she was done. Or she was 5, whichever came first:) (Just Kidding, kind of)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Prayer Request

Today has been a bit of a rough day. It started early and it looks like it will probably end late. However, it was the in between that really sucked.

Last summer I noticed a growth on the back of my calf. I didn't really think anything about it. I thought it would just go away. It never did.

I finally made an appointment to have it looked at. That appt was today. The Dr was nice enough. The atmosphere was fine. The news, however, totally sucked.

The Dr took a look at the growth. Looked at me, and said, Why didn't you come in sooner?

Ummmm, because I've been busy raising two kids! Have you ever noticed that your needs totally go on the back burner when you have kids. My health is not as important astheirs. I take them to the Dr for every little thing. I, however, rarely go. This is one case where I should have gone much earlier.

The Dr removed the growth and is sending it off to have it tested for Melanoma cancer. He felt the lymph node in my groin and apparently it is quite enlarged. This is not good either. The Dr is 99% sure I have melanoma cancer. It started out as a little spot on my calf, and has since spread to at least the one lymph node, possibly more.

When the biopsy comes back in a week or two, and if it is cancer, he will refer me to a surgeon who will send dye coursing through my veins to determine where else the cancer has spread to. After that I will see an oncologist and will probably be started on chemotherapy.

Needless to say I am totally freaked out. This wasn't what I expected or wanted to hear. I'm not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn't this.

I came home after the Dr appt today and held both of my babies just a little bit tighter. From now on I think I will have a different out look on this thing we call life.

Please keep us in your prayers. I will keep you updated as we find out information.

Happy 1/2 Birthday!

This is the dress Ella is going to wear for the wedding this weekend. Do you like the bow?

See my new trick!! Watch out Kyler, I am going to get your Bye-Bye's!

Today my baby girl turned 6 months old.

I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

A good thing because maybe, just maybe, that means she will start sleeping through the night (please, please, please!).

A bad thing because it means that my baby girl is growing up, way to quickly I might add!

She is sitting up like a champ, loves to army crawl across the room to steal her brother's toys, and has started getting up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. Sometimes she even takes one little crawl forward before she slides down to her tummy.

I am guessing she is just a bit over 17 lbs. She is currently eating cereal twice a day and seems to love it. At first she wasn't so fond of it because she couldn't be held at the same time, but I do believe she has gotten over that. I am sure when we head to the Dr next week for her 6 month appt he will tell me to start her on solids. I'm a little sad about that. It means less nursing time with her. I am going to attempt to pump in order to keep my milk supply up, however with two little ones that is probably easier said then done!

Happy 1/2 Birthday Ella Grace.

Thanks for a wonderful (and exhausting) 6 months.

I love you Baby G.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Need Some Advice

I am thinking about giving cloth diapers a try.

We are spending $40 a week on diapers and it is just killing the budget! It doesn't help that diapers are expected to up by $2 a box at the end of July. Not to mention that the thought of all those diapers just filling up the landfill is kind of bothering me. I am trying to be more green and cloth diapers would definitely be a step in the right direction.

Since I don't see the boy getting potty trained any time soon, sigh, I am thinking about trying cloth diapers on Ella. She will obviously be in diapers for at least another year and a half so spending the money on the cloth diapers is worth it. I am hoping Kyler will be potty trained at least by December (BTW-any tips on potty training a little boy that is scared to death of change??!!) so spending the money on cloth diapers doesn't seem like a good investment for him. They are not cheap!

My question to all of you is, has anyone tried and fallen in love with any cloth diapers out there? What about absolutely hated any? I am thinking about giving these cloth diapers a shot:

Bum Genius
Happy Heiney's
Fuzzi Bunz
Blog Makeovers by Tara