Saturday, July 19, 2008

Lots of Randomness

I have received several awards lately but have not had the time or energy to post them.

I am VERY honored to receive these awards and I am pretty sure they understand why I haven't thanked them. I am thanking all of you right now. I appreciate your love!

I know I am supposed to hand these out to others, however I just don't have the energy right now. Look for an awards ceremy at a later date.

I received this beauty from Kristen at Loving Our Simple Life. I just love to read about Kristen and her little ones. They can always bring a smile to my face. Thank you for that:)

I received this thoughtful award from Clare over at Diapers to Designs. I just recently found Clare's little ole' blog and we bonded instantly. I just love her little man's smile and her energy. Oh, I wish I had half the energy she does!

This fun award is from Jenn over at I Hate Whine! She is a very busy mama with teenagers all the way down to a baby boy. I can't get enough of those cubby little cheeks!

Please be sure to check out their blogs. I love them and I am sure you will too!


Since finding out about this whole cancer thing, a lot has been on my mind. Things that I have taken for granted are not taken for granted anymore. I appreciate my family so much more now.

I want to throw out a HUGE thank you to my husband. He seriously has been wonderful through all of this. I know I have been a huge pain in the ass so thank you honey for being at my beck and call.

Thank you to my parents for dropping everything and being down here just as soon as you could.

Thank you to my mother and father in law for taking care of the little ones yesterday and for always being here when we need you.

Julia, Rebekah, Ella, and Kyler checking each other out!

Rebekah holding Ella. Sorry that she is so darn heavy Rebekah!

Thank you to Joel, Laura, Julia, and Rebekah for stopping by to check on us. The sweet card made me cry and the cookies are all gone!

Thank you to Ryan, Jodi, and Olivia for the very sweet card. I'll take all the prayers that I can get!

Here's a funny little sidenote. Out of all the people that have shown me such support and love, my sister in law has not once called or emailed to say that she was thinking of us. Not once. In fact, our niece and nephew are having their birthday party this weekend and we aren't even invited. I have gone through so much lately that I am really trying to get over this pure hatred that I feel for her. In fact, I was over it. And trust me, she has done some pretty hurtful things to Cody, myself, and said some pretty hateful things about my kids, but I was over it. Then she does this. Am I being silly for being upset by this? I mean, if she acts like this, do I really want my children around this? She is married to Cody's brother, shouldn't he be saying something to her about this?

I know there are so many more people out there that I need to say thank you to for their wonderful support. I know that tons of you have put links and prayers on your blog. Thank you so much for that. The more prayers the better!

Friday, July 18, 2008

What A Day

Check below for new pics!!

This is me after they put the radioactive dye in. This machine follows the dye throughout my body.
This is mommy pre-surgery.

I am home from the Surgical Center.


We started out at the Hospital where they injected a radioactive dye in the spot where they took the growth from. Those damn shots hurt like hell! I am pretty sure a few choice words were said.

After an hour of lying down and letting the dye travel we headed to the Surgical Center and we waited, and waited, and waited.

They finally took me back for surgery. And I cried. For some reason anesthesia totally freaks me out. In fact. they gave me an extra dose of anesthesia because I wouldn't fall asleep. I was very blessed to have some very sweet nurses that wiped my tears and a very sweet Dr that held my hand.

When they were trying to get me to go to sleep. The Dr was asking me if I liked the beach. I told him no. He asked what I did like. My response. The Mall! Apparently, even when I am going unconscious I still dream about shopping. Interesting!

After the surgery they went out and talked to my parents and husband. The Dr removed more skin from where the spot was on my calf. He also removed a couple lymph nodes from the groin. The one that the Dermatologist felt was a huge concern, the surgeon didn't feel was a concern. He said it has a cyst like material around it so it was probably from a previous infection that had not healed. The other lymph node that he removed is the one that he sent off for testing. This one was in the crease so therefore bending and walking are quite difficult right now. We should hear something towards the end of next week. If we hear earlier then the end of the week-it's not good. We actually want it to take a long time.

Since they had to give me some extra anesthesia it took quite awhile for me to come out of it. Apparently, I am quite the comedian when I am out of it. I guess I told my mom that she drank all of the Jack Daniels' (which we don't drink!) and that she also made my lotion all sticky. No idea where that came from. I have a feeling I will be made fun of this for quite awhile.

I also asked for several of my bloggy friends and for Aunt A. See, even unconscious I still love you guys:)

As for the green pee-yeah, it's pretty cool. I haven't figured out how to pump yet since I can't bend. If I figure that one out I'll post the pics!

Disclaimer: I am still a little out of it. If this doesn't make sense I apologize now. I will edit it tomorrow and probably change some things. Check back.

Check 0ut the green breastmilk and green pee. Apparently, the Dr said green not blue. Sorry-my bad!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My New BFF

Today we met with the surgeon and I have decided that he is my new BFF. Sorry Aunt A, you have been replaced.

Unlike the dermatologist, he was very positive and had a good outlook on all of this.

He even told us that I could wait until August to have the surgery because even if it has spread it does not spread that quickly. That made me feel SO much better. However, the chances of me waiting until August to have the surgery were slim to none. I pretty much said, fit me in as soon as you can.

He did an excellent job of explaining all of the linguistics to us. However, I am not an auditory person so it was a good thing that my husband was there because he took some excellent notes! I will try to decipher the notes for you. Please remember that my husband does not have the nicest handwriting and I don't remember much of what the Dr said so I hope I get this right. If I am wrong feel free to comment and let me know!

Apparently there are two methods that they use when examining Melanoma. One method tells you the depth and the other method tells you the chance that it has spread to another area.

The first method is called the Clarke's. The Clarke level of a melanoma uses a scale of I to V (1-5) to describe which layers of the skin are involved. Higher numbers mean a deeper melanoma. My level was 4.

The other method measures the thickness of the melanoma using a device something like a small ruler. This is called the Breslow measurement. My reading was a 1.35. They would like it to be under 1. If it was under 1 they wouldn't do any more but monitor me once a year. Since it was a little higher there is a possibility that it has spread. He was very optimistic that it had not spread.

On Friday we will head to the hospital and I will have a dye injected into my leg that will drift through the lymph nodes. We will then head across the street to the surgical center and I will have a radioactive dye injected that will be more of a visual dye.

It's blue. How cool is that? My pee and breast milk will be blue for a few days! Don't worry, I'll take pics:)

Anywoo, he will follow the dye with a Gieger Meter and remove the lymph nodes that are trapping the dye.

The Dr was very nice and I absolutely loved him. He felt that the swollen spot in my groin was more of a fatty mass not so much cancer. I told him that that was impossible since I have absolutely no fat on my body(he, he, he) , but I will take fat over cancer any day!!

Thank you all so, so much for your positive thoughts and prayers. There has been a lot of crying in our house and a lot of cuddling.

But I will tell you right now, I am so going to kick this cancer's ass!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

They Called

They finally called with the results today.

Not good. Not good at all.

I have stage 4 Melanoma Cancer. I was prepared for this. Or at least I thought I was. However, when the Dr says it out loud that is a totally different thing.

I lost it.
I bawled.
I was not at home.
I was at Ella's 6 month appt.
I am pretty sure the pedetrician thought I was going insane.
Then I told him the news.
Usually my mom or my husband would be the first person I talk to about something like that. Nope, today it was Ella's pedetrician. Well, at least I love him!

I have a long road ahead. I meet with a surgeon tomorrow to discuss the treatment options. I have an appt with an oncologist next week. This sucks. Totally blows.

I thought I would be able to handle this. I am tough, I am strong-well at least emotionally-physically, not so much. But I thought I would be able to handle the news. I am not doing so well. I am losing my patience with Kyler. I can't stop cuddling with Ella. And I am crying. A lot.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Happy Wedding Day

This weekend my BFF got married. What a wonderful day. I am so lucky to have been part of this awesome event. The day was absolutely perfect.
Other than the rain, that is. Luckily, the rain stopped mid-morning and it ended up being an excellent day.

Have I ever told you how much I puffy heart weddings? Well, I do. I love everything about them.

The Dresses.

The Shoes!

The Tuxes.

The Flowers.

The Candles.

The Rings.

The Food.

The Cake.

The Mints.


The bride looked stunning.

The groom was handsome.

And the Matron of Honor, was well thrilled to be there!

Thank you Aunt A for allowing me to share such a special event with you. You have found yourself a wonderful man. I wish you both nothing but love and happiness for many years to come.

The Bridesmaids

(Just so you know-the only reason I blocked out their faces was for their privacy. I'm not sure they really want their faces on the internet.)

Aunt A and Mommy

Mommy and Kristi
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