Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Update

Today we met with my oncologist. He was shocked that the cancer was spreading. He agreed that the Interferon wasn't working and that we would have to try something else. The meds available through him were not really any meds that he would recommend. His recommendation was to get into MD Anderson in Houston, TX. They are the best of the best. They have lots of different meds there and if they can't help me they will send me to Bethasada, Maryland where they do a lot of studies for the National Institute of Health.

The Dr was very positive that MD Anderson would be able to help, but he was also realistic. What will probably happen now is that I will be on a maintenance drug for the rest of my life. I wasn't very excited about that. But, I will also do what ever I have to do to survive.

They ran another CT scan today from my head to my pelvis. I am also having another PET scan tomorrow (at 5:45 AM!!). I have been having headaches lately, which I am hoping is because of the crazy weather changes we've been having in KS. I have also been short of breath. Again, hoping it is more of an allergy/asthma thing. However, when you have cancer, EVERY LITTLE THING totally freaks you out. Please pray that the scans come out clean.

We leave on Sunday for my appt at MD Anderson. It will just be Cody and I. My parents are staying with the kids at our house. This has been a little hard on me. My babies are my strength. I want them near me at all times. But, this is how we have to do it. I'm not worried about them. That's not the issue. I just don't want to be away from them. I love them so, so much. But, in theory, I am doing this for them. I am doing it so that I am around for them. I know they will understand.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Results

The Dermatologist just called with the results and they are not good.

All three spots that he removed came back as Melanoma cancer. It's what he figured so I was sort of expecting it, but it was still a hard thing to hear.

I have an appt with my oncologist set for Thursday to see what path we take now. I also have an evaluation set up for next week at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America. I also have a call in to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas for an evaluation. As you can see, lots of different Dr appts, but lots of expertise. Hopefully someone will be able to tell us where to go from here.

Needless to say, I am pretty pissed. I'm pissed that I have gone through the last 8 months for nothing. I am pissed that it came back while I am in treatment. I am pissed that I won't actually be done in August. I am pissed that most people have success while on Interferon. And, well, I'm just pissed.

As for what to pray for now, pray that we caught it before it spread to any organs. I'll be honest, once Melanoma spreads to the organs I'm screwed. I'm pretty aware of my body on the outside, however, what goes on on the inside is any one's guess.

I think right now I am in a bit of denial. I am going through a lot of different emotions right now. I expected this. I knew last week that it was going to come back as cancer. My dermatologist is one of the best. This result was expected. It's still a hard thing to grasp though. I don't want cancer to win this fight. I have two beautiful babies that still need me. Kyler is the biggest mama's boy there is. What would he do if he didn't have me? The thought hurts to much to even think about.
 
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