Friday, May 1, 2009

Dang It, My Kids R Cute!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Some Adorable New Pictures!

I realize that I haven't posted many pictures lately. The reason I started this blog was for my kids and I feel like I have sort of taken over with all my drama. So, for the rest of the week no mre cancer talk, only kid talk. However, if something big happens-check facebook!

For Easter, Daddy and I got the kids a new sandbox/water table. We haven't put any water in it yet, but the kids love playing in the sandbox part.

Kyler found an Easter egg.

Of course, he had to open them to see what was in them!

Ella and Grandpa S (my daddy).

Kyler, up close and personal.

Ella checking out her eggs.

Ella, up close and personal.

At first Ella had no idea what to do with the eggs. After Daddy started putting them in her baskete she caught on and started picking them up. When she couldn't find any more on the ground she started taking them out of other kids baskets!

Here I am.

This is from our first trip to Houston. Cody and I had some extra time so we went to an Aquarium.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Allow Me To Explain

I know my last post was sort of out of nowhere, but I didn't have a lot of time. I was at the Dr's office yesterday from 10am to 4 pm. Kyler was with me for two hours, then Grandma Snyder came to stay with him (huge Thank Yous!). So, since I was at the Dr's office all day I was just dying to spend some time with the munchkins. I am sure you guys understand.

Now, I will explain the blood clot. When we were at MD Anderson they put in a Central Venous Catheter in my chest to make it a lot easier to give me the meds. It hurt to have put in. I hated it when it was in. But, it did make the chemo a lot easier.

I believe it was Saturday when my right arm started hurting. Not bad, just a little bit. As the week went on the pain got more intense. I decided last night that I would have it looked at when I went to have labs. After waiting for an hour for the Dr, he ordered an ultrasound. Kyler and I went to Sonic and then Grandma met us. Then, I went back for the ultrasound.

Towards the end I asked the Tech if she could tell me anything, and her response was, "I think we will just let the Dr look at it." I just started laughing. Obviously something was wrong.

The Dr returned from lunch about 30 minutes later and he told me I had a blood clot that started in my arm pit and is traveling downwards. No wonder my arm is hurting so bad!

After many conversations with the nurse at MD Anderson the decision was made that my CVC had to pulled. I have been started on Lovanox shots to break up the blood clot and I will probably be on those for the next 6 months. Which totally sucks, because they hurt!

The Drs think my blood clot originated because of the CVC, combine that with cancer, plus the fact that blood clotting disorders run in my family, and well, I was just screwed from the beginning!

We leave Sunday for MD Anderson and another line will be placed on Monday. I am NOT excited about this. At all. It's painful and inconvenient. But, there's nothing I can do about it. I hate not having a say. I hate not being in control of my own life.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Yo, God...

...are you there? Because seriously, I do not find you very amusing.

Not only do I have cancer and chemo to contend with, now you have also given me a blood clot in my arm (that hurts like hell I might add). Are you serious?

I thought I was done with shots and now I will be getting two a day.... for the next 6 months. I mean come on now. This just isn't funny.

Once I kick cancer's ass I was something big. I mean huge. Like a new house or something. Amen.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Holy Smokes...

...I feel awesome!! Seriously, I haven't felt this good in weeks. This feels so great. I have been up since 6am. I have disinfected both upstairs bathrooms and cleaned up the basement (which takes several hours, believe me!)

Today the plan is to hang out at home in the morning. No church today, I can't be around all the germies. But, we will probably watch something churchy on TV to ease my guilt, then Aunt A is coming to see us. She is going to take us to Hunter's for his birthday party then back home for play time. Aunt A is going to stay the night with us so that I have some help tomorrow. It is hard to plan when I don't really know how I am going to feel day to day. But, believe me, I appreciate all the help.

We will leave next Sunday for MD Anderson where I will start the chemo process all over again. I have mixed emotions.

I am ready to go because I seriously want this cancer out of my body. The pure thought of it being in there pisses me off.

On the other hand, I don't want to go. I don't want to leave my kids and I don't want to feel like crap all over again. However, do I have a choice? No. Not at all. So, I do what I have been doing since last August. I suck it up and just do it. Cancer has taken a lot of things from me, but it will never, ever take my will to be alive. I have to much to live for. I thank Kyler and Ella for that lesson Every time I look at them I realize how very blessed I am.
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