Saturday, May 30, 2009


Today has been a bit of a rough day. Heather has suffered from the chills quite often which is very abnormal. She also has had a very erratic change in temperature swings, she goes from 95 to 104 in a fairly short amount of time. The doctor also noticed that her skin had broken out today in what appears to be blisters. He became very concerned that she had some sort of infection and performed some cultures. We do not know the results of these cultures yet, but the doctor did start some antibiotics today, and it seems to have helped. She definitely was a little more perky this evening, before going back to sleep.

Last night was fairly rough, as her blood pressure made some very dangerous swings, at one point I think her blood pressure was in the range of 60 over 40 which if you don't know normal is 115 over 75. To combat this they increased fluids and would not give her the medicine for chills, which ultimately made the chills worse over night.

Of course with all of this going on Heather did not get much sleep last night. I find it funny that in a hospital the nurses and doctors always seem to find the moment when you have just fallen asleep to enter your room, this happened quite regularly last night and into today. This did not make Heather too happy with one of nurses around shift change, and we had to politely ask her to come back later for a dressing change.

Today, we had a couple of great visitors come by. Shana came by and visited for a few minutes and then Angie came by for a few minutes. We were definitely grateful for the company as we do not get out much during the course of the treatment schedule. Seeing familiar faces is always good.

All in all this has been a rough trip to MD Anderson, but Heather really is doing alright. There have been ups and downs with this trip, but Heather is making it through. Sunday morning the last bag of drugs is hung up, and that bag is scheduled to end, around 2:00AM, which ironically is the time the bars used to close when we were in college.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.


Once in a While, in the Middle of an Ordinary Life, Love Gives us a Fairy Tale

To Heather:

(I will apologize before hand as I know to all the reader's of Heather's blog that this will come off as I am a total pansy and not read like the normal rugged, mountain man that I appear to be)

May 31 ( I know this is posted a little early) is the 6 year wedding anniversary for Heather and me. Now, normally, we would spend today in sunny location enjoying the festivities of the area, (the past few years we have been in Phoenix for our anniversary) followed by a meal and drinks at the Hard Rock. This year we are in a location that fits all of the above criteria, but getting away to do those things is quite difficult. And while this could be looked at in a negative light, I find comfort in the fact that at a bare minimum we get to spend this day together and not away from each other.

As with any couple we have been through a lot and have become stronger and closer with every step we have taken. You are an amazing person who has, and will continue to, overcome the odds. I think many people see and have recognized the beauty that you have, but you are truly a one of a kind person, whom can handle nearly everything. Sometimes things have and will be challenging, but I know that together we can find the path to travel.

I often reflect, when I am travelling, about the times we have shared together. All of these memories are cherished. I remember the tears of joy in our eyes when both Kyler and Ella were born. How we stood beside each other when Otis, one of our beloved pups, passed. I often reflect on when we first met, that fateful night, the first few years we spent together, and how our lives have changed so dramatically, but at the same time grown much closer. Now as the current period has been filled frustration and unknowing, ultimately we know that with out a doubt we will be there for each other, the kids, and the rest of the family.

In the past I have tried to give you something that is not just a gift, but is relaxing and meaningful. But this year I can't find the item does what I want it too - something that gives you a moment of peace and/or usefulness, and tells you how special you really are.

While it has only been 6 years, which is a relatively short amount of time, I am going to try to take a bold step forward. With everything that has happened in the recent past, the experiences we have shared, and the closer bond that has come from it.

Heather, my "gift" to you is the following question - "Will you be willing to take my hand in marriage for the second time?"

I love you with all my heart,


For the brief update of how Heather is doing:

She has been doing OK over the past few days. She has suffered through some fever and chills. Friday night she suffered through some low blood pressure. We are hoping that she does not have an infection. She is in good spirits, aside from the nurse that keeps waking her up the moment she falls asleep. Hopefully we get to come home on Tuesday night. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Not So Happy Birthday

To All Heather's Faithfull Readers (from Cody) :

Today Heather has been a little out of it and slept most of the day. Yesterday was a very long day, as you could tell from the post yesterday we had a rather intersting meeting with the doctor in which it was hard to distinguish if it was a good meeting or not, but we are going to assume all is good for now. After the doctors appointment came the true excitment and why there was very little sleep of last night. We waited in the waiting room to be admitted in the hospital for hours. This is not unusual, as when we generally go through admission it takes hours from the doctor's appointment until actual admission. This time though, Heather went and checked on the status after a couple of hours and got news that we probably would not get a room tonight, which sent us into a minor panic, but really what could we do. Heather got a call a few mintues later and they got us a room ---Hooray it was 6:00 PM and we were getting to our room.

This is where the fun begins:

When we got to the room there was no bed and the room had not been cleaned very thoroughly. Come to find out the previous patient had to go to ICU and was transported in the bed and house keeping did a quick clean on the room. After the room was cleaned and a bed found we got settled.

After another few hours of waiting a very nice nurse told us there was an accident in our admission and the floor that they put us on could not handle the chemo that Heather is on. They were working out a swap in which a pateint from the floor we needed to be on was going to one floor and then our upstairs room was cleaned, and then we would get to move upstairs. We knew this was going to be quite a process, and it was. At about 1:00 this morning we finally got transferred to the proper room and Heather's chemo started around 2:30.

Heather and I had discussed how this year's birthday would not count since she was going o be on chemo during her birthday which is no way to spend it. When we noticed the drugs hadn't started by midnight Heather was mad as she thinks this birthday counts since the drugs were not started. I am going to give her a free pass on the day as she has suffered from a form of exhaustion most of the day and rested a lot. It seems nurses in chemo wards don't really believe in sleep as everytime she goes to sleep someone comes in the room within a couple minutes.

There have been many nice surprises of the day for Heather. She got a Webkinz Panda and balloon set from her parents, a birthday card from my parents, and a birthday cake from house keeping.

Heather, I love you very much and we will get through this. I wish you a happy day, and we will have a birthday do-over when we get home. Who knows I might even arrange a surprise for you when I get there.

I Love You


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Report

Yesterday was a VERY long day. A long day of waiting, waiting, and more waiting. However, the scans were done (the MRI against my will, I might add!) And we were anxious to hear the results.

We met with the Dr today and I "think" it was good news. The Dr was very odd today and he was very difficult to read. Usually they will compare the before chemo PET scan to the after chemo PET scan. Since we had the previous PET scan done in KS it is very hard to compare them. I started with 4 masses in my body. One of the masses has completely disappeared, the other 3 are still there. I know that the one I can feel is getting smaller, but it was very hard to compare the two scans. So at this point we continue what we are doing and will repeat the PET scan after two more rounds.

Personally, I felt this was good news. One mass is completely gone. That tells me this is working. Right? However, the Dr wasn't very positive today and that was very frustrating to me. Right now I need positive. Not overly and unrealistically positive mind you, but positive none the less.

Tonight I am going to have Cody feel the mass before I start chemo and then feel it once the chemo is complete. This way someone else will know if it is shrinking or not. He is thoroughly excited about this. No, really, he is. Because of where the tumors are, he is really excited! Apparently, Melanoma is attracted to fat. I don't have much any more. I am pretty skinny. Since I don't have much fat, you can only imagine what fat the melanoma has found. God has a very funny since of humor I have decided. Ha, ha, ha God. Joke is over. Fix this please!

On the homefront, the kids are doing well. I'm pretty sure Ella is to young to really notice how long we are gone. Kyler, on the other hand, knows and it is really hard on him. In order to ease my guilt I buy them LOTS of presents while we are gone. It makes me feel better and it makes them happier. The only one not thrilled is Cody. However, at this point I am pretty sure he will do what ever he has to do to keep me happy. That's the way it should be right?

Thank you all for your prayers and comments (on here and on Facebook). I am trying really hard to remain positive. I can do this. I can beat this.

Monday, May 25, 2009

My Last Day

Today is my last day this month with my kids and my heart is heavy. I am going to miss them so, so much. Yesterday, I broke the news to Kyler that we would have to leave for Houston and he told me that he was going to get in the car, buckle up, and drive down to Houston to be with me. Break my heart why don't ya!

This week has been wonderful. I have felt good, had some energy, and thoroughly enjoyed my time with the kids. We've played outside, we've gone on wagon rides, we had a playdate with friends, we've grilled out, we've had a picnic, and we've played in the sprinkler. Good times I tell ya!

After this round of chemo I will be halfway done. That's pretty exciting! I know that the cancer is shrinking. I can feel one tumor and it started out the size of a cherry tomato and it is now the size of a large pea. That is encouraging. I am thrilled that the cancer is going away. It's just one hell of a price to pay to be cancer free. And that sucks. But, what other options do I have? None. I plan on being here with my babies for a long, long time.

I appreciate all of your prayers and love. Please remember to mark your calendar for June 2nd. It's the official day that I am halfway done with chemo:) What a fabulous day that will be!
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