Friday, November 13, 2009

An Update

Well, the news isn't the best. The spot that showed up on the PET scan, but was inactive, last month has grown from 4 mm to 6 mm. Not a lot to us, but enough in the cancer world.

While the Dr was trying to find that mass, he noticed another spot on the skin that he was very concerned about. That spot was removed in the office and has been sent off for a biopsy.

After that I was sent over to Ultrasound to see if they could find the tumor this time since it was bigger. The ultrasound tech found it immediately.

Apparently they had been in the back studying my PET scan. Obviously that was a plus. She had no problems what so ever in finding it.

Since I was there I also had them check the lymph nodes. The spot that they removed would have spread to the lymph nodes in my groin. If it has spread then it would show up on the Ultrasound. Nothing showed up, so I am fairly certain, that if it is melanoma, it has not spread.

However, on the positive side, when that spot was removed it was not black underneath. When Melanoma is removed it is black underneath. This was not. It was flesh colored underneath. I feel this is a good thing.

I am trying to stay positive about all of this. However, I am not sure how much more I can endure. I am just about "surguried" out. I am tired of being cut into to. I am tired of being poked. I am tired of being prodded. I am just so over this cancer shit. It's just stupid and it totally blows.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I'm not quitting. I will never quit. But, I do think I have the right to be pissed. I do think I have the right to be tired. And I do think I have the right to be bitchy. So, bear with me for a while. I will get through this. But, this won't be an easy ride. So, if you don't mind, bear with me, give me your love, and send me your prayers.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Here We Go Again

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I leave for MD Anderson yet again. I have mixed feelings, I don't want to leave the kids. But, then again, I never want to leave them!

I am anxious to see the results of the scans that I will be having on Thursday. I am anxious to see if the one little bitty spot of cancer that remained is still showing up as inactive. Please pray for good test results.

After everything I have been through, I have really been trying to remember what is important in my life and what I am grateful for. I am grateful for things that most people take for granted.

One night, while watching Yo Gabba Gabba and drinking a glass of wine (because, let's face it, when you watch that show you have to drink!) I came to a realization, if it weren't for cancer, I would have the perfect life. I have a great husband, awesome kids, and wonderful family and friends. My life would be ideal. Sure, we struggle with things, but they are all minor in comparision to the big picture. I know that most of you reading are not dealing with cancer, but try to remember how much worse it could be. I think of that every single day. I am in the fight for my life, but guess what, I am winning! And that, my friends, is a wonderful feeling!

A Much Needed Playdate

Yesterday we were able to get together with our friends, Jodi and Olivia for a nice little playdate. We have been trying to do this for months, but something always comes up or someone gets sick. But, this time it worked! Pretty sure, it was a blessing in disguise. I needed this little break. I needed something to take my mind off the upcoming MD Anderson visit. Thank you Jodi and Olivia for the distraction!

Olivia rocking in the rocking chair

Olivia drinking some fake soup

Kyler riding the horsie and drinking at the same time!

Ella in the hat that Kyler freaks out about wearing, but of course, he doesn't want Ella to wear it!

Monday, November 9, 2009

A Day of FUN!

For Kyler's birthday I really wanted to make it a fun day. A day that all of us would remember. So, I let Kyler plan the day. He got to pick the whole day, and we pretty much did everything that he wanted to do. It was a fabulous day!

The big day started with a trip to the zoo. The weather was beautiful. We were able to see almost all of the animals and spent about 2 hours just enjoying each other.
Ella had to bring a blankie and a baby to the zoo!

A little picture break

My Birthday Boy!

Hangin' with the Gorillas

Isn't he a cutie!

After the zoo we hit up an awesome park that was nearby. The kids love, love, love playing there.

I have no idea why he felt the need to stick out his tongue!

After the zoo, Kyler and I went to see "A Christmas Carol." (Ella went home with Daddy to take a much needed nap!) Not quite sure it was appropriate for little ones, it was a little scary, but he seemed to be ok with it.

After all that fun, he chose to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. Then we came home to open presents. He even wore his Birthday Boy crown from Preschool!

Ella even got a little present for Kyler's birthday! I do this for both of their birthdays. They each get one present on the other kids birthday. This way I don't take the focus off the birthday kid, but the other still knows that they are special.

The next day we got busy working on his birthday cake. I am not a baker or a cook. Quite honestly, I don't mind baking, but I am not very good at it! I am learning and getting better, at least good enough to make birthday cakes for the kids birthday parties. Cakes get kind of expensive!

At his birthday party the weather was perfect, so we brought all the presents outside to open.

Ella and Deegan really enjoyed Kyler's new scooter!

Kyler, Ella, and Julianna singing Happy Birthday and blowing out his Spiderman candle.
Huge Thank You's to everyone that was able to help us celebrate Kyler's big day.
Thank you all so much!
Blog Makeovers by Tara